Sunday, March 11, 2007

March 11, 2007

"There are 3 generations here today," my father said. Olive was sick and cranky, and as soon as my father left for a business trip, I fought with my mother.

Why do I not love her anymore? She takes a lot of emotional energy. That is what people do. Not so, not in my close personal life. I need to treat her gently and with love.

I do not need to feel sorry for her, even though she keeps reminding us of her choice-less life.
I do need to appreciate all her efforts, even though she gives me an earful of how much trouble she went to get me a (hideous) outfit.
I need to not try to have an relationship on my terms, but on her terms, even though her terms are ridiculous to me.
I need to use few words around her, even though she chatters non-stop about the most mundane things.

On what basis will we have a relationship? That she's my mother of course.

Olive loves her mother (me) very much. We had sweet chats before bed tonight and she gives me the loveliest smiles. I want our relationship to be always beautiful, close and honest.

My mother is always crying and making hideous faces about something that makes her unhappy, hurts her. She is always hurt about the choices I make. Especially simple symbolic things, like choosing to wear a dress to the wedding instead of traditional Pak garb. So how to deal? Simply minimize information to her. What she won't know until she's in public she won't react to by throwing a emotional fit.


Post a Comment

<< Home