Friday, August 25, 2017

Yippee I'm a non smoker

thank you Alan Carr.  Grateful.  I'm in a fog but not really but I am lying around reading a lot and not having any peristalsis which is sad.

Susan Shapiro - thank you.  You are 40 and you are quitting.  I am 44.  I've only smoked for 2.5 years.

First smoke:  13.
2nd smoke: 15.
Remaining smokes: 17-28
Non smoker:  29-41
Just one Smoke in Tulum:  41
Several smokes:  41-44

I am mushy.  I am bigger because all the blood circulating is pulsing more strongly and I'm not the weak willowy, dark circled kind of drugged child porn star I've always wanted to be since I was 6 and saw that dreadful thing on TV in an apartment on Juhu beach in Bombay when mother left dad and his friend in underpants to watch the kids while she went sari shopping.

Seriously.  I am mature.  Maturity helps in conquering all the things.  Addictions, fears, phobias, childhood traumas, superiority complexes and inferiority complexes and all of the stuff I thought was my life.

Turns out no.  I'm 44.  I'm mature.  I haven't figured out everything yet but no doubt I will.

I am lying around now but soon I will get up and go downstairs confidently.  Day 3 is the day.  Today I awoke feeling refreshed!  Today I have purpose and more energy even though I still need lots of naps.

Life goes on.  A sauna is nearby.  Saunaing everyday can save your life.  Esp if you have very cold showers right after the sauna.  

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