Monday, May 07, 2007

May 7, 2007

Last week was in London town, working in Mayfair with a terrible cold, trying to be smart while acting like just one of the guys. Meanwhile, I was walking down Bond Street thinking of my baby with her sweet smiles, worried that she'd forget about me.

Quite the opposite, she missed me so much that she took to carrying her baby doll around everywhere, crying if baby was taken away even for a moment. She's learning to self soothe, says the West. She misses her mother terribly and needs her, says the East. I've decided to take my baby with me to London on the next trip, as that may be in a few weeks according to Rory.

It was fun working right next to Rory, the self labelled Rastaman who is the COO of the shop. I now understand why he works so late - he works at a leisurely pace, constantly distracted by small talk, car talk and shop talk.

I was informed by Mark that John and I are a team. Now there is nothing more distasteful than being in a team with someone you consider a bit intellectually challenged. On the other hand, let each bring their own strengths. Mark did hold out the factoid that I should "go to Brazil and Argentina" to meet lawyers. I must tell him that they came to me - at the International Finance Law Review conference that I have been attending for the past few days. So interesting - this afternoon's hallway conversation with the Luxembourg lawyer and the Argentine lawyers (a bit pompous) about a Lux shell co that receives receivables from an Argentine corporate and issues Notes to noteholders who are passed along the payments. Only problem: Argentine withholding tax.

Wondering what the hell M was talking about - Electrobras? They have sold their assets and have nothing practically but a nuclear plant/site. That is what Daniel Miranda told me anyway, a Brazilian lawyer who speaks with such solemnity and control of facial features that one feels frozen in time.

Still no word from Elena yet, I must send her the tea and see if that elicits a response. She is busy setting up the art hedge fund no doubt before it goes all bust and the hedgies no longer have $$ to bid up the prices of - hmph - modern art.

Steady as she goes, my emotional state wishes I was 20 lbs lighter, that is all. I think about fasting a lot these days, especially while eating biscuits and tea.

Olive talks to me. She said "pee pee" this morning telling me she had soiled her diaper. No darling, that smells like poo poo. She's got my long long limbs and her own unique upper lip. Her grandmother treats her like a little baby still, carrying her around this morning. Olive seemed to enjoy it and did not want to get into the emotional state of saying good bye to me so she pretty much ignored that I was leaving. That hurt, but at least it protects the little one's feelings. I am gracious for an hour in the evening to have a bath and tumble in the bed together.

I've been confounded as to why I still look pregnant, feel very stiff and toxic. I dreamt early this morning of the pain of the C-section - the horror and shock that it was happening to me. Other times, I think it's my heavy diet only that needs to be fixed. The emotional pain will heal if I look as hot as I once did.


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