Tuesday, April 03, 2007

April 4, 2007

Olive is more curious now, and wants to get into everything but her toys. She wants to open her drawer and take all the clothes out. She wants to grab all her toilet accessories. This makes me angry, but then I feel so bad because it becomes clear that Olive is not trying to annoy me, she is simply exploring her world, imitating her mama. Because I spoke harsh words to her this morning, she didn't even come running to me when I came home. I felt so bad, all through yoga. I need to tell her so. I will re-bond with her this weekend, a long one due to Easter.

I feel a bit vulnerable at work too. I need to demonstrate my prowess - I tried to practice at lunch with a Shearman partner, of all people. It will make me feel like I have strong ties there, I believe. The man himself was a tad bit boring - I know nothing about him personally even after a 2 hour lunch, which I find strange but oh so Shearman.

Then, am I thinking hard enough of what/how to present things to Rory, Ihor, Millie and Mark? What are the goals for each of these individuals - I should think this through. I need to be prepared for next week to say I did x, y, z.

I have been neglecting my maternal duties of giving Ollie dedicated focused time. What should we do together in the evenings? I believe bathtime should be delayed until my arrival. Then, I just need to be there for her.

Meanwhile I was thinking "Oh, I need some time for myself." There is no time. I simply need to take care of myself - eat right, sleep enough to ensure that I can focus on everything when I am called upon to do so. It's almost midnight - goodnight.

Remind me tomorrow to tell you about maternal coaching, women's seminars at work, women mentors or lack thereof.


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